Blah

Funny how when we're born,
we thought that the world is pure.
We were full of dreams,
and so carefree that we never knew about responsibilities.

As we grew older,
we realized that the world was not so simple.
We were full of doubt,
and so much more aware of society's "standards".

Now,
the world is still not simple.
We are still full of insecurities
but we slowly we learn about the people and things that are truly important.
And so we continue on just as we always have

-

Hoping to be able to write something different soon. Hmm...

Void

Drowning in toxic thoughts,

unrealistic expectations,

pointless jealousy,

and your deadly silence

-

Time shifts to slow-motion 

as he turns around.

Gentle brown eyes gazed at her,

a twinkle appears at the corner of his right eye.

The wind shifts ever so slightly,

catching the heat of his skin

and the beats of her fluttering heart

Repeatedly

Even if the bleeding stops
and the scars fade,
a split encounter can pull you back to that very moment.

Would you choose to linger within the past
and savour the luxury of memory,
or hastily push through the layers of experience
to the comforts of the now?

Lousy

What do we really miss?

The feeling of "we once had",

the feeling of control,

or solely the subject itself?

-

The heart; guided by emotions

The mind; guided by logic

The body; guided by both

When the heart is indecisive,

and the mind is unfocused,

the body stays stagnant

-

#whenIdontknowwhatthecrapImwriting

#wordsnotworkinginshortsentencestructures

#bloggingonmyotheraccountwaseasierleh

#shouldntforcethewords

#okaybyemaybebetternexttime

Never-ending lessons

To my younger self and in the process of, current self. Just some lessons - and goals to personally reach - that I feel can't really be taught imo. Not from others, not to others, only possible through oneself. 

Firstly, this is different from the usual kind of post. And it ended up to be an extremely long one hah. Just feel like noting them down as reminders - not trying to preach anything - and in the falling asleep reflective state. Just yawned HAHAH. As usually opinions are mine and only mine, not a general opinion of everyone's. Also you can always contradict what I say below. I'm thick headed but it doesn't mean that you have to keep mum about his/her rebuttal to my views ya.

Also I don't think they're in order and of course this list will expand as time passes? Hmm... I'll just get on with it.

Self-love/ Embracing who you are

Cause ain't nobody gonna love yourself and treat yourself better than you. Ya know some people believe in loving themselves before they can love others? That's in terms of relationships wise I mean. 

I'm one of those HAHAH. I just can't imagine depending on someone else to define what is good about yourself, and then what happens if the person is no longer around? Will you still love yourself as you? For your way of thinking and emotions. For the way you interact with others, for the way you get things done. For the way you dress, for the way you look. For everything. It can still be applied even on non-relationship aspects I suppose. Also I guess self-love will make one more confident and that'll help in the different aspects of life?

I refer to embracing as in taking the parts of yourself that you find weird or ugly or whatever you call it, as identities of yourself, as part of what makes you, YOU. Sometimes maybe when you feel crappy about it, think Without it, what will I be? Will I still be me? Hmm I'll say that I'm terrible at this point, horrible actually. Such irony huh

Living life for yourself

With relation to one's perspectives on life being our own and having control of them, deciding on what to feel less or even what to feel more. It's okay to have advice and consider them. But since when does anyone really know what is exactly right? I also don't exactly know what I'm writing here anyway?

Living for yourself in terms of having hobbies to stay grounded, to feel truly yourself and having to spend time on things you enjoy/love. I find that it's good because it can be something you return to, a ship port to go back to in the times of storms. Hopefully hobbies that are helpful to one's health in the different aspects

Appreciating life

Such heavy words. And such a difficult thing to do in our society when there are pressures/factors all around. 

- Oh gosh... I can't. 12:36am. My eyes are giving up on me, continuing tomorrow. I've the other points listed down, to be continued tomorrow. Nights - Hi hi I'm back at 1:23pm. Ah my neighbour is playing her piano, always loving the sound of it. Okay continuing -
Appreciation as in feeling fortunate with what we already have. For the physical and non-physical aspects. For chances and opportunities and etc. And that feeling of being alive, connected to your senses and being grateful for them. For our heart that hasn't given up on us and the cells that continue to multiply to keep us alive. It's a goal for me to have such a mindset everyday, HAHAH still a long way to go

Expectations of yourself and of others
I've read from somewhere that it says the expectations that we put on others are those that we actually have for ourselves too? Which means if you think that everyone should be honest and caring, your inner self expects that you too are already or should be honest and caring too. I suppose it will also only be fair then. That we can only "demand" something from others when we in the first place must be able to have done it or have some sort of standard. And that we ought to work on ourselves first.
Also there are times when we are not aware of and feel terrible when things don't happen the way we would like, and start "hating on everything". When in the first place we don't exactly owe each another anything. Also when things don't go the way you want, it doesn't necessarily mean it's totally bad, there may be new opportunities and other things to see and experience?
Also because of what the society sees as norms, we are expected do to certain things a certain way, or achieve certain things so as to be considered as successful and such. Which contradicts the idea of going on your own path. Though I starting to feel that following norms aka going by what's the "best" or "most direct way" is starting to be less and less important. Hmmm...What a complex point imo. Any opinions to share?

People; they come, some stay, some leave

Referring to anyone other than you. Side note, the weather is making me want to fly a kite. Literally. So bright and occasionally windy. Sometimes I feel that even the skies know that it's the weekends. Alright, back to it.
Often we may think that we're the ones who suffer losing people, whether it's through their passing, or diminishing in contact, or people not being interested to connact with us, etc. But often we are also the ones who are leaving people behind. Like leaving a school can mean leaving your teachers, your juniors, your coursemates. Or leaving a workplace can mean leaving your bosses, your colleagues and etc.
We are all mere passer-bys to each other's life. As William Shakespeare said, it's quoted from a theatre script of his if I'm not wrong, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts" Which is quite true to imo, so we're actually all the same. Or in another words all what people claim as "victims". 
Also if you decided not to chase something you want, if you haven't put in effort, you can't say that it has been taken away by others? In which if others chose not to put in effort in relationships, even if you have tried, it's not because of yourself as you've given your best you could have within your control. It's kinda for many things though. One of the things that I've to constantly remind myself so as not to be "hating on the world" or myself

Balance and its difficulty is part of life
In pretty much everything that I can think of now. What's right, what's wrong, what's too extreme, what's not. The balance of every thought and action. Who can say which is what? We can only live to know huh. Even so there are often no definite answers to certain questions. No definite answers or decisions because they may not be our final destinies

Work Hard, and Be Brave

/ Casey Neistat

This itself is kinda a goal too? I wrote it the way that I heard him say from Boyce's Avenue's Be Somebody. Seriously didn't know that it was him till I found out from trying to find another quote and this popped up. So I was thinking Eh this sounds like something I've heard from somewhere. HAHAHA and to think I only started watching his vlogs on YouTube after I talked about drone footages with a friend of mine. And I came to find his character really yolo and quirky, and also his vlogs contain different perspectives (literally) and use of media. His Draw my Life is the most interesting one that I've ever seen so far

Alright, everything should be back to the usual writing stuff next time. Thanks for staying to read and letting me kill your brain cells with my words :) Do leave comments if you would like, I often feel silly cause it's so one-sided. And if you spot any language errors it's because I didn't proof read it HAHAH. Till next time, byes

Nonexistent feeling

Forward was always where she headed. Gaze straight and direct, she ran on the path of Life. Through the easy and challenging. There was never apprehension, and no questions were raised.

Before long, she became tired. It's okay, she thought. I can go at my own pace, I am doing this for myself. Anything's better than stopping, right. Onward at a slower pace, she continued.

Along the way, she stumbled upon Fear who was sitting beside the path. Hey, Fear shouted. Since you're tired, why don't you take a rest with me? Face it, you're no longer as strong as you were in the past. Why push yourself so hard?

Despite so, she didn't stop but she slowed down even more so. She passed by Fear and was feeling even more so exhausted, and overwhelmed with the doubts that he has infected her with.

Up ahead, she met Hope, a stranger just like Fear. Hi there, you okay? Hope stood up from his break and started pacing alongside her. The end seems pretty far ahead huh. But neither of us can really know what will happen after the next bent right? The future has yet to be written

-

Had an idea but it evolved quite a bit from before, to a quite cliche thing actually. Mehz. Tend to have problems ending and developing the stuff I write. I tried :')

You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts

/ Philip Arnold

Breathe and feel grounded

Don’t let mental blocks control you. 

Set yourself free. 

Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.

/ Dr Roopleen via MomentumDash

Sometimes it feels like things are just not enough,

relations and happenings aren't going smoothly,

and the world's weight is on your shoulders.

Then something you see or hear changes your mind.

Maybe a text from a friend, a funny video, a passage from a book or something you ate.

Maybe even the controlled breaths and exhales that you made.

You realize how fortunate you are to have all that you have now.

To be alive and able to take in information through your senses.

To have the basic necessities for survival,

people who care for you,

a safe environment to live in,

and perhaps even materialistic things/hobbies that bring you additional joy.

And just.

Just for a moment, 

you find escape from the worries that have been occupying your mind.