Y4S1

Second last entry. As usual - subjective experiences, subjective brain cells, subjective thoughts, incoherence

Mental state
A semester of "I want to graduate and earn money already". Even if I'm afraid of the challenges, changes, learning curves and all that it will bring about... I think that it has been enough time in this phase of life. Overall, it's not too fast or too slow? Have to admit that it's a bittersweet (and ball-of-anxiousness) semester and I'm grateful for the opportunity regardless of all the smaller details

This semester is also a semester of asking for help with 2 modules (LSM2191B & EL). I also wonder if my brain cells are getting rustier (my friend says no, it's natural to not get things the first time) because it feels like some lecture contents were a major miss and required reviewing multiple times. I still don't get some of them tbh

Separately, it's somehow fascinating we can be in end y3s2 or y4s1 and still be meeting new faces in 4k mods. Maybe EEB cohort isn't as small as I thought

Modules
Chose two 4k LSM modules based on interest and lecturers. And a HS2k and an EL, which may require my SUs later. Partially regret taking all CA modules because the past ~2 weeks was not fun. Still have one last assignment due

Also took LSM2191B and was asked a million times why I didn't take it earlier - a mixture of didn't think I need it for research and couldn't get it at a slot I wanted (to avoid year-long UROPs) so postponed it. The rep of "start early" & requires a bulk of effort, is truly what it is... I don't get why it must be compulsory, but it is definitely telling me what I'm bad at... Maybe that's the purpose. There was also a "what to do situation" cause the TAs & one of the Prof know that the other Prof doesn't explain things at a beginner level. The latter expects a higher than beginner level of thinking which gets a portion of us quite confused? Hmm systematic things strike again

One of a mod's group assignment (non-LSM, can SU) reminded me that writing group report with a mix of people from different majors, can be quite a hellish process. If it's a different form of group assignment like group presentations or group posters, we can focus on having a coherent storyline/main point better. Can't imagine the struggle that scientists go through when they co-author papers...

Overall, having 3 classes of 4-6 hours amongst the weekly timetable is more mentally tiring than I expected. Though I have to be fair and highlight some fun parts that I can recall right now - EL tutorials & final reflection, 2191B lab sessions, LSM jurong fishery port field trip & behavioral study assignment & dissections, and LSM case study assignment

What I may miss
Which is just part of the experience of having had

• Bumping into long time no see course mates and having a short catch-up or long yap
• School's food prices!!
• Times when friends/acquaintances let me chill in their rooms
• Watching science campus awaken with daylight: leaf blower staff working, animals emerging, canteen opened bright and early with more people streaming in over time
• Access to scientific papers: though might have alumni access/ can email researchers
• + more along the wayyy

Side thoughts of the semester

• Sometimes I cannot help but wonder what if - in an alternate life, I joined NTU ASE instead HAHAHAH something I'll never know~ Grass often seems greener on the other side. Focus on watering our own grass, as they (who) say
• The difference between a knowledgeable person vs a person who knows how to communicate the knowledge to empower others
• The difference between having your own values vs crossing the line to expecting people to conform to your values
• Kudos to those who designed the calculations/weightage of MCs for graduation requirements

Next semester

• UTOPS. Extremely scared but will probably just deal with whatever that comes, and hope that the discomfort is worth the experience (O.O)
• LSM mod to fulfill minor. May my brain cells be extra absorbent 
• Job search?? Doesn't help that the market's not well and career advisors telling us to "start early"...
• I guess the last entry y4s2 would be a final reflection/summary of takeaways

Y3S2

Third last semesterly reflection (o.o) Wrote the bulk of it on 18 March actually - was I done with the semester too early? Who knows? As usual, semester/submissions not over but hopefully I didn't leave anything major out -

• Mental state

"Wah graduating in around a year's time". It's the general thinking about how going back to work life is going to be, what type of interview questions I may encounter this time, my annoying focus on how I'm turning 29 this year (GAH), how this protected era is coming to an end which I'm sure I'll miss (and not miss), hoping to see the current y4s I know out and about next time, etc

This semester, it was listening to podcasts/audiobooks/music, Reddit threads, taking care of my plants & isopods, and reducing time on social media that maintained my sanity. Hope to do more leisure stuff next year?

• Timetable, study spots, "good enough"

Timetable this semester is mostly from mid mornings to early afternoon, and somehow my courses are all of continuous assessments - why did I do that though. Of which includes 2 HS courses which are generally enjoyable, a nice change from LSM courses even if I reach fass later and later as the semester passed LOL

Not sure if I mentioned before but really wish that there were more study spots outside of school which are not libraries and not airconditioned, and more importantly free of charge. Am I too picky about study spots? Yes probably. Honestly having a great aversion towards staying in science campus this semester, after spending too much time in school last sem. I love the proximity of science to KR mrt though :')

Anywayyy the mindset of "good enough" continues this semester - the higher level the course, the higher level of effort. LSM 1k course's CA tests had very little of my attention. And also, not being too stressed if teammates are not too stressed up about groupwork. Not newsflash by now - I'm not disciplined when it comes to doing schoolwork HAHAH though assignments are submitted by deadlines so that's okay

• Research / "Journal of Don'ts"

Of course, I've to mention about the compulsory research component required for graduation - I did a 3k UROPs for that. Personally, I feel that doing lit review and experimenting with M&M, without having to write a report is fun. And one can argue that there's no point in executing experiments and not writing (discussing) about it HAHA

For sure now I know things I didn't know before. There's definitely need for more pure mycelium materials publications, and it sucks having to use generalized explanations because I cannot find (what I think are) closely matching reports. Though I think it's also due to the nature of biological sciences that many factors could affect the growth of an organism. Such a bummer that trial runs cannot be mentioned in reports (personal communication for the future?), and that some data cannot be used/is not helpful at the end of the day. tbh I got emotionally invested in the project which does not usually happen to me when it comes to academia. Bittersweet feelings? Looking back, the past year was definitely a slap in the face about the scientific process even if it was just a small taste on the greater scale of things. Many thanks to the irl and virtual support I received :')

Researchers definitely have it hard, a lot of work behind the scenes that requires being hopeful and curious regardless of "failures". Companies also have research teams to try what we want to find out but on a day in and out basis - so yeahhh undergrad projects are limiting. Though when I do stumble across master theses or local works or papers that are nicely written, I'm just like "WOW". Would definitely miss the access to scientific papers after graduation!

Also I suppose not going for FYP - which I don't need as I didn't declare a specialization, may or may not be a bad thing. I'll never know regardless of what I eventually go with. Though for now, I'm just looking forward to the 4k courses I want to take (and other courses) without having to constantly stress about research.

Side note though! Friends doing FYP! Please jio me if you need manpower during your research, I can help/kaypoh if it works for our timetables later on. I would be willing to hear about your project rants and be part of your presentation's practice audience too

• Incoming school break

Internships are highly sought for and encouraged as valuable experience for students, in view of future job/academia opportunities. It's quite common for people to start searching for opportunities early - same for research projects and full-time jobs tbh. Feels like opening a can of worms if we were to investigate the pressure cooker we're in...

imo at the same time, I also think "why can't I enjoy having no major commitments precisely cause that's the only time I can, till work life hits"? I don't think sabbaticals are a norm in our culture? Disclaimer: I can't deny that it might be because I do have a little work experience before so I would (OR CAN I REALLY) think so? Such internal conflict cause idk how I would be evaluated in future - though no one really knows? Confusion...

I have signed up for a 6-week 4k course and I'm looking forward to that a lot!! Hope it goes alright. Though I'm not sure about how I would spend the remaining time rn. Undeniably, last year's May-July internship is definitely what would be called a "core memory" to me - it has been and will probably always be. 

Also side opinion and iykyk - Unpaid internships should not exist this era. Volunteering is a different thing. Thanks to friends who heard me out :')

• Graduation trips??

It's quite intriguing to me that overseas graduation trips with batchmates (poly/JC/uni/other friends) seem to be a thing to think about already. Had a few friends bringing up about grad trips and I discussed with two other friends about whether it's a thing to do - one wasn't too bothered about the idea of it while the other responded that it's like a "rite of passage". I do get that it's a fun thing to look forward to, and a celebration to end off 3.5 or 4 years with a blast. Honestly at the end of it all, I just hope to get some down time, to acknowledge and congratulate myself for passing through another phase of life - regardless of "grad trip" or academic results.

• Have my reasons for returning to studies changed? Ref Y1S1

Nope. Though I need to remind myself of them when I feel like I'm going through the motions of school just because I have to. Needa mentally zoom out and trust that all will be okay somehow

As usual, thoughts and impressions are from my point of view only. Not meaning to poke at anyone in particular, just questioning/thinking about personal uni experiences, general trends and what not