Guess I'm still doing this. Another semester that passed extra quickly. It's one where people and watching living things grow (isopods, plants, mycelia) keep me sane. Honestly it feels like I've been dragging myself through a mental swamp the whole semester though. Anyways here it goes -
Mentally
- Not sure why this semester is more mentally draining than I thought. Is urops the answer, an excuse or what? Though a portion of stuff I'm concerned about seem to be beyond school. More on self-esteem, the general anxiousness that graduation will come soon, thinking about what success means to myself, etc
- My memory seriously sucks (my brain is not a fresh sponge), or maybe it's because I still wonder if any of these will be required in future? Maybe I'm after the use of things and not for the thirst of knowledge, especially for certain mods. Sometimes it feels like we do things for the sake of just doing than actual learning. Like when feedback is provided but it's not like we get a chance to resubmit an edited version
- Never thought that I would become an isopod parent and they're keeping me sane cause checks on them = mental breaks for me. I'm probably a monster for shining my phone light at them every so often
Timetable and Sleep
- Had more classes starting at 12noon, which makes for odd lunch timings so most of the time I get to school earlier to check on my experiments then lunch in school before class. And in general, it means that I can wake up at a saner hour and not stress about "sleeping early". Though I really need to drop everything and just sleep when I need to. Odd how my body clock really likes 7:30am this semester
Research
- Taking a year-long 3k urops. It takes up more time and mental capacity that I thought. From finding and doing readings, planning, executing, reiterations/adjustments/checks throughout the whole process coupled with dashes (no, bucket loads) of self-doubt along the way...
- Sometimes it comes to the point of just do, don't think. Just got to trust that we made the best decision at that point in time... I shall find out what more is to come LOL
- To maintain sanity in the lab: One must make sure to eat, drink and go toilet. I get the reluctance to stop the flow of work though. I'm (hopefully) better now and snacking/packing something along is the bare minimum!
- Am blessed with lab mates who I can bounce off thoughts with, have yapping/ sanity/ meal check-ins with, and share equipment with, including helping each another to collect stuff, check stuff and pressing buttons, etc
- Would actually be great if there was more time/ focus on the "growing" part of the project?
Other thoughts
- Whether in school or out of school, "Friends for a reason, friends for a season, or friends for a lifetime" still applies
- I think I measure the amount of effort I put into things way more than ever. Kind of like "meh that's good enough for a 1k mod", or "that's good enough for something I'm not that into", or in general - not going after things that potentially wouldn't reciprocate to the same level. I sound jaded LOL
- Somehow there's the freedom of doing anything I want during the weekends when full time working, at least that was for my previous roles where I didn't have to be (physically) working on most weekends. While now as a student, I would be doing assignments. Conclusion, I need to spend more time to do things that really matter to me?
- imo I still have no discipline when it comes to academics HAHAHA
As usual, above ramblings are mine and mine only. Seems like there are recurring themes/ trains of thoughts that stick throughout the semester reflections - not sure what else I can think about?
