Hi hello so I decided to have an open reflection for this semester too. I realized that some pointers from last semester (this semester too) may apply to anyone in general and that's okay imo. This semester, I'm more used to the uni life in terms of timetable and that I'm indeed a broke student ($.$). Ohkay arbitrary segregation of incoherent thoughts as follow -
System-wise stuff
- Expectations of school and oneself
I feel like I'm almost jaded of the education system in the sense that I'm aware that it that cannot change and sometimes it's almost like I don't want to fight it (aka chase for grades, for the sake of grades that are given based on fixed set of criteria). Of course there's peer pressure and one's expectations' of oneself so it's a challenging balance to maintain. I try to remind myself that there are more important stuff in life and to be involved in those stuff too. At the end of the day, I don't want to butcher myself for the sake of education, you know? - Exemptions / Advance placement credits
They may or may not apply or be beneficial to one so take note to understand how they work. I realize that my exemption from bridging biology module might not have been the best thing for higher level modules related to human bio which I have no background of at all (extra self study T.T)
Social stuff
- Loneliness, adult learners and more about "taking the road less travelled" as my friend calls it
tbh in semester 1, I didn't mention that I looked up online to see what other people who entered university "later than normal" felt and I was like WOW relatable. It was also nice when one of my group members this semester who knows of another adult learner, told me that "she feels the same (loneliness) too". After which my group member wondered aloud "Why don't they have an adult learners group for people like you in school?". I appreciate the thought!
In a way, our lives have diverged away from others who are similar in age as us, and we're not doing what most people our ages are doing. The content of our conversations we used to have changes, and sometimes it feels more relatable when I share about school stuff with classmates, than people I previously talk about work with. Which of course is natural, and for sure our relations with people run deeper than just school or work related topics. Maybe it's just a change that I didn't foresee to happen.
Also sometimes I get the impression it slips people's minds that I'm on a student budget (more selective with my spendings) or that my closest friends are working adults (not following academic timetables). Hm it's not a big deal but something else unexpected to experience?
Personal stuff
- Discipline
Have definitely been less disciplined this semester, might be a combination of my level of interest in the compulsory modules and the method of assessment (mostly tests/exams than continuous assessment/projects), and me having a bit more of a life out of academics compared to previous semester. All in all, my grades might plunge but my mental health (not involving academics) is better. Tradeoffs, that's all that I can say for now.
Though for sure I realize that I'm more focused in school and public libraries, and if I happen to be with a study buddy. Less fidgety, less distracted. I also hope to sleep and wake up at more consistent timings, something that I can adjust over the coming break
- Independence
Small note that as someone who bids for modules on my own, it's nice to see familiar and meet new faces who pull me into discussions about the challenging parts of our modules. Maybe I don't need to only rely on myself after all
As for bidding mods on my own, it's not so much that I'm avoidant of people but that I don't quite "need" to get into the same classes with people that I come to know of. We have varying mods and hence timetables. But maybe in higher mods when I meet people who have more similar interests, it may happen. For now I'm alright. I think that independence is definitely my double-edge sword since my working days
- Ability to math
Another small note, can I just say that my brain cannot math all along and that it doesn't help that I'm so resistant to math-ing now, when it's probably me mentally hindering myself. Self-fulfilling prophecy? The last time I had to math seriously was too long ago
- Identity and self-doubt
Sometimes I zoom out and it almost feels like my work life never happened and then I go how did I manage to get into uni (not that a university education guarantees anything)... but yeahhh a thought that comes and goes, something for me to chew on my own.
Also thoughts like: How does school content relate to work? Will my work experience still be relevant after graduation?
Random point but the screen time of a uni student compared to during my previous job is no joke
- Higher level modules
tbh I'm waiting for the higher level modules which cover content that I choose to learn about, they're probably increasingly challenging but should be more relatable to what I want to get out of school. Also I probably shouldn't take only compulsory modules in a single semester, that's what I unintentionally did and it feels like a bummer somehow HAHAH
Well that's that. If I had to attempt,
- tldr would be: Pick your battles, maintain your sanity in university.
I suppose it applies to life in general too. This has been a more personal entry compared to Y1S1's? Anyway till next time,
