Have you ever felt
the stuffy feeling like everything is piling up,
depriving you of oxygen
and making you feel a heaviness in the chest?
Urgh I don't feel like writing in such a way today. I think I need the long kind of draggy posts with paragraphs and paragraphs of words. Which I do so in my other blog cause there's so much details that I would rather leave else where, while here is the more structured kind of writing?? And usually I'll have an image at the start of every post on my other blog while I want to keep things cleaner here. Or try to, cause now I'm disrupting the usual rhythm of this place :p
But yes. Feelings. So suffocating at times. When you get head over heels, too caught up in your thoughts. In another world that is most likely far from the true form of reality - which we can't even be sure of what we see/know even when we are more "balanced". But confusing is just how the world in our minds and reality are
Sometimes we get stuck in that make-believe world in our minds that just seem so real. At least that's what it'll feel like. Sometimes it can drag for longer periods of times, making us feel like we're less than anything/demoralized, less than who we already are. Or maybe we end up seeing ourselves as "victims" to what everyone else does around us, as if like they are hating on us and after what we have
That's when we'll have to notice and look upon ourselves, about how we are feeling, why we are feeling so and if should we continue to feel like that or not. I mean that times it's okay to feel like a useless piece of poop and be sulky. But think about it, it's technically mostly in the mind, made up by things inside, but what is the current reality/facts that you're facing?
Also there are self checks on our mental/emotional sides. Reminding yourself of what you want to be - this I learnt from a video where by the speaker states down 3 qualities to define the "ideal" self that he wants to be. So when he realizes that he falls off balance, he'll bring up the 3 qualities to remind himself of who he currently is as a person and what he aims to be. Even something as simple as walking away to a different room or environment, or taking a deep breath, drinking some water, and tuning to all your senses of the current moment may help. It's all in order to feel linked to reality, grounded and to encourage yourself.
Just to remember that at some point of time, WE will have to pull OURSELVES back to reality. No one else can really pull us up as much as ourselves. Something that comes from within yourself will feel most satisfying too! At times if we focus too much on how we feel, we may actually be dwelling too deep and end up inflicting more hurt than necessary upon ourselves. So yeah, drag yourself away from that state of mind and pull the focus away from feelings. Get outta your mind! Turn them into actions. Talk to your close friends, family, counselor, etc if possible. Don't carry everything yourself. Maybe even help someone else with something or your family with a chore. Anything that's not harmful to yourself. Focus on something else, do something that makes you feel more centered/happy/productive :)
Honestly I'm writing all these because I'm currently feeling crappy and writing is just something that I turn to - usually I write when I'm feeling negative feelings but not that I don't share about happy events of course HAHAHA. It's that I realize that this method has been the most effective in expressing myself so far. And there are other reasons as to why I write. Like because I don't trust my memory, everyone has their own stories and Life to live - there aren't as many listeners as talkers(?) in this world and even I tryyy to be a listener more, and I feel less judged on this online platform - or more like I care less about judgement here? There has also been moments when I wonder maybe it can be seen as me being too talkative in another way, or me trying to back the lack of attention or something - but that's another set of opinions so shushhh
Ya know what, in the end I kind of just hope that writing will not only help me but also make people/you guys to think or feel differently - whether good or bad I'm not too sure, or make y'all feel that you're not alone? I mean I think that'll be another, if not, even greater thing to be able to achieve. Really hope everyone finds some sort of method or activity that will help yourself get out of your mind when needed! Also feel free to leave comments if you'll like to, we can have a discussion?? :)
And I'll most likely be back to writing short stuff here so yeah. Till next timeee
