Saturday, July 30, 2016

Never-ending lessons

To my younger self and in the process of, current self. Just some lessons - and goals to personally reach - that I feel can't really be taught imo. Not from others, not to others, only possible through oneself. 

Firstly, this is different from the usual kind of post. And it ended up to be an extremely long one hah. Just feel like noting them down as reminders - not trying to preach anything - and in the falling asleep reflective state. Just yawned HAHAH. As usually opinions are mine and only mine, not a general opinion of everyone's. Also you can always contradict what I say below. I'm thick headed but it doesn't mean that you have to keep mum about his/her rebuttal to my views ya.
Also I don't think they're in order and of course this list will expand as time passes? Hmm... I'll just get on with it.

Self-love/ Embracing who you are
Cause ain't nobody gonna love yourself and treat yourself better than you. Ya know some people believe in loving themselves before they can love others? That's in terms of relationships wise I mean. 
I'm one of those HAHAH. I just can't imagine depending on someone else to define what is good about yourself, and then what happens if the person is no longer around? Will you still love yourself as you? For your way of thinking and emotions. For the way you interact with others, for the way you get things done. For the way you dress, for the way you look. For everything. It can still be applied even on non-relationship aspects I suppose. Also I guess self-love will make one more confident and that'll help in the different aspects of life?
I refer to embracing as in taking the parts of yourself that you find weird or ugly or whatever you call it, as identities of yourself, as part of what makes you, YOU. Sometimes maybe when you feel crappy about it, think Without it, what will I be? Will I still be me? Hmm I'll say that I'm terrible at this point, horrible actually. Such irony huh

Living life for yourself
With relation to one's perspectives on life being our own and having control of them, deciding on what to feel less or even what to feel more. It's okay to have advice and consider them. But since when does anyone really know what is exactly right? I also don't exactly know what I'm writing here anyway?
Living for yourself in terms of having hobbies to stay grounded, to feel truly yourself and having to spend time on things you enjoy/love. I find that it's good because it can be something you return to, a ship port to go back to in the times of storms. Hopefully hobbies that are helpful to one's health in the different aspects

Appreciating life
Such heavy words. And such a difficult thing to do in our society when there are pressures/factors all around. 
- Oh gosh... I can't. 12:36am. My eyes are giving up on me, continuing tomorrow. I've the other points listed down, to be continued tomorrow. Nights - Hi hi I'm back at 1:23pm. Ah my neighbour is playing her piano, always loving the sound of it. Okay continuing -
Appreciation as in feeling fortunate with what we already have. For the physical and non-physical aspects. For chances and opportunities and etc. And that feeling of being alive, connected to your senses and being grateful for them. For our heart that hasn't given up on us and the cells that continue to multiply to keep us alive. It's a goal for me to have such a mindset everyday, HAHAH still a long way to go

Expectations of yourself and of others
I've read from somewhere that it says the expectations that we put on others are those that we actually have for ourselves too? Which means if you think that everyone should be honest and caring, your inner self expects that you too are already or should be honest and caring too. I suppose it will also only be fair then. That we can only "demand" something from others when we in the first place must be able to have done it or have some sort of standard. And that we ought to work on ourselves first.
Also there are times when we are not aware of and feel terrible when things don't happen the way we would like, and start "hating on everything". When in the first place we don't exactly owe each another anything. Also when things don't go the way you want, it doesn't necessarily mean it's totally bad, there may be new opportunities and other things to see and experience?
Also because of what the society sees as norms, we are expected do to certain things a certain way, or achieve certain things so as to be considered as successful and such. Which contradicts the idea of going on your own path. Though I starting to feel that following norms aka going by what's the "best" or "most direct way" is starting to be less and less important. Hmmm...What a complex point imo. Any opinions to share?

People; they come, some stay, some leave
Referring to anyone other than you. Side note, the weather is making me want to fly a kite. Literally. So bright and occasionally windy. Sometimes I feel that even the skies know that it's the weekends. Alright, back to it.
Often we may think that we're the ones who suffer losing people, whether it's through their passing, or diminishing in contact, or people not being interested to connact with us, etc. But often we are also the ones who are leaving people behind. Like leaving a school can mean leaving your teachers, your juniors, your coursemates. Or leaving a workplace can mean leaving your bosses, your colleagues and etc.
We are all mere passer-bys to each other's life. As William Shakespeare said, it's quoted from a theatre script of his if I'm not wrong, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts" Which is quite true to imo, so we're actually all the same. Or in another words all what people claim as "victims". 
Also if you decided not to chase something you want, if you haven't put in effort, you can't say that it has been taken away by others? In which if others chose not to put in effort in relationships, even if you have tried, it's not because of yourself as you've given your best you could have within your control. It's kinda for many things though. One of the things that I've to constantly remind myself so as not to be "hating on the world" or myself

Balance and its difficulty is part of life
In pretty much everything that I can think of now. What's right, what's wrong, what's too extreme, what's not. The balance of every thought and action. Who can say which is what? We can only live to know huh. Even so there are often no definite answers to certain questions. No definite answers or decisions because they may not be our final destinies

Work Hard, and Be Brave
/ Casey Neistat

This itself is kinda a goal too? I wrote it the way that I heard him say from Boyce's Avenue's Be Somebody. Seriously didn't know that it was him till I found out from trying to find another quote and this popped up. So I was thinking Eh this sounds like something I've heard from somewhere. HAHAHA and to think I only started watching his vlogs on YouTube after I talked about drone footages with a friend of mine. And I came to find his character really yolo and quirky, and also his vlogs contain different perspectives (literally) and use of media. His Draw my Life is the most interesting one that I've ever seen so far

Alright, everything should be back to the usual writing stuff next time. Thanks for staying to read and letting me kill your brain cells with my words :) Do leave comments if you would like, I often feel silly cause it's so one-sided. And if you spot any language errors it's because I didn't proof read it HAHAH. Till next time, byes

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Nonexistent feeling

Forward was always where she headed. Gaze straight and direct, she ran on the path of Life. Through the easy and challenging. There was never apprehension, and no questions were raised.

Before long, she became tired. It's okay, she thought. I can go at my own pace, I am doing this for myself. Anything's better than stopping, right. Onward at a slower pace, she continued.

Along the way, she stumbled upon Fear who was sitting beside the path. Hey, Fear shouted. Since you're tired, why don't you take a rest with me? Face it, you're no longer as strong as you were in the past. Why push yourself so hard?

Despite so, she didn't stop but she slowed down even more so. She passed by Fear and was feeling even more so exhausted, and overwhelmed with the doubts that he has infected her with.

Up ahead, she met Hope, a stranger just like Fear. Hi there, you okay? Hope stood up from his break and started pacing alongside her. The end seems pretty far ahead huh. But neither of us can really know what will happen after the next bent right? The future has yet to be written

-

Had an idea but it evolved quite a bit from before, to a quite cliche thing actually. Mehz. Tend to have problems ending and developing the stuff I write. I tried :')

You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts
/ Philip Arnold

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Breathe and feel grounded

Don’t let mental blocks control you. 
Set yourself free. 
Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.
/ Dr Roopleen via MomentumDash

Sometimes it feels like things are just not enough,
relations and happenings aren't going smoothly,
and the world's weight is on your shoulders.

Then something you see or hear changes your mind.
Maybe a text from a friend, a funny video, a passage from a book or something you ate.
Maybe even the controlled breaths and exhales that you made.

You realize how fortunate you are to have all that you have now.
To be alive and able to take in information through your senses.
To have the basic necessities for survival,
people who care for you,
a safe environment to live in,
and perhaps even materialistic things/hobbies that bring you additional joy.

And just.
Just for a moment, 
you find escape from the worries that have been occupying your mind.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Impasse

What are you really afraid of?
Why so? Why not?
It does not hurt to try,
it does not hurt to ask.

The only possible fear is that of rejection.
Then what?
Next only come putting yourself back together,
next only come moving on.

The world will still continue spinning,
days will still change into nights,
time will still continuing running.
At the end of the day,
we'll all perish into nothing.

You can then say that you've had experienced it,
you can say that you've no regrets,
you can say that there're no "What if"s

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Three places

What is passion, seriously?
Something you love and cannot do without?
If so, that's really something that I've yet to understand. There are things that I can say I like, have interest in. But what is loving it and having passion in it?
Is it wanting to share about it with everybody around you? Sharing it's goodness that you see with it?
I still don't fully understand. Do other people feel this way too? Is this how people fall into jobs or things that they "don't mind" doing? Is this how I'll be?
I hope not. Really hope not.
On second thought... Maybe passion is trying your best for it, fighting for it.
Pushing on even if it's difficult.
So that it in turn, can really be called passion.

9 July / 2:32pm-2:39pm


I feel like I broke my own heart into pieces
But no it's still here, still beating
Only that is true

9 July / 11:39pm


The light darkens
And the darkness spreads
The air cools
And twinkly stars appear, piercing brightly through the night

10 July/ NEShow1 LED wristband


The hand at the back of your head tightens
Squeezing harder and harder
Other senses dull
Fury burns brightly

10 July / Headache

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Five

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
/ David Burns


Facts are simple
Words are loosely used
Thoughts are twisted
Feelings are suffocating


The droplet of water, 
words that come so easily
The ripples formed, 
unintentional influence on others' emotional wellness


Like an infectious virus,
a negative thought spreads like fire,
eating away the peace within you,
drowning you in the depths of your unsound mind


You know it's no longer the same,
things have changed,
he no longer asks Why


Fight as you can,
the noose tightens,
threatening to smother you out

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Wait

Have you met a type of person,
to whom you've struggled many times to try to explain yourself,
but just couldn't find the right words?
Struggle as much as you want,
your message does not get across as how you would like.
Maybe in normal situations,
you're all at peace and agreeable.
But at the end,
when you really need them to understand,
everything seems to fails.

Have you met another type of person,
to whom you don't have to struggle with to explain yourself,
for the right words come so naturally?
Tread lightly you have to not,
the connection you have is just undeniable.
Usually your only worry is over-explaining and overexposing.
When you really need them to understand,
worry not for with patience,
things will work out somehow

-

Written on 30 June 2016